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The Gay Blade

The Gay Blade - Kelly Conrad I’ve started associating Kelly Conrad’s books with unexpected surprises, and not good ones. I’ve given up on a couple of her m/m books because of the random scenes (including m/f sex scenes) that are not mentioned at all in the book blurb. Heck, several of her stories have main characters that you don’t know about till you read about them (case in point, Saul’s sister in The Tall Texan). The Gay Blade opens with a m/f sex scene that also happens to be a movie scene with Grant’s sister. Wtf?? And then partway through the book, Dano gets kidnapped by a human trafficking ring??!! And Grant just so happens to be there and save him??!! Again, what the hell?! And then Dano’s getting tempted by Grant’s sister, Shayde?? Last I checked, the title was the Gay Blade. Not the straight blade. And then Dano’s tempted by Paris a few pages later! This just makes him look like a huge slut who’s just using Grant. And what kind of sister would do that to her brother?? I wouldn’t try and tempt my sister’s boyfriend to sleep with both of us. And Grant just calls her a drama queen and leaves it. Really? With family like that, who needs enemies?

Then Paris finally enters the picture halfway through the book. And in one page, Grant gets over his heartbreak and months of sadness at Paris leaving him and takes the blame for it (which is ridiculous because no matter what he did, Paris didn’t talk to him about his problems but left instead). And then, out of the blue, there’s a reality show that Shayde, Paris, and Dano are being a part of? And they’re keeping it a secret from Grant?? What the hell, did I just enter into a different book? Cause this sure isn’t what I was expecting. And maybe, if it were done well I’d enjoy it, but this just confused me more and caused an even bigger disconnect from the book.

And the ending? Oh, the ending pissed me off so much. If I were Grant, I would have dumped their asses and never spoken to any of them again. You don’t use people you love like that. And then to say that it was because you needed the money?? Hell, if that’s the case you should have just let Grant spoil you. Instead, you hurt him and claim to love him and need him? And Grant just accepts it and moves on. I wouldn’t even dream of forgiving Dano and Paris without a hell lot more begging and apologies. And that relationship would be forever tarnished. I would never be able to truly trust them again. And Grant just accepts it and they all go on to live happily ever after? Bullshit. That doesn’t work except in fairy tales and even then this ending wouldn’t be very probable.

So much of this book feels so unrealistic and far-fetched. The dialogue’s crap, the sex scenes are okay at best. I ended up skimming through large portions of this book. Why? It’s crap. And it’s not often I’ll say that about a book. The book blurb sounds like it’s for an entirely different book than the one I got, I wanted an m/m book, not one with m/f scenes, it’s so unrealistic it’s not even funny, and it’s an utter piece of crap. During and after I read this book, I felt conned, which pissed me the hell off. I absolutely hate books that are so different than what they portray. I wouldn’t have read this book and wasted my time and money if I’d known what it was really about. I feel like the author and the publishers both screwed me over and that just pisses me off. Heck, if there was a way I could give this book 0 stars, I would. It doesn’t even deserve the one I’m giving it. I recommend you don’t waste your time with this book. This was the last straw. I won’t be reading anymore of Ms. Conrad’s books. I’m sick of being duped. And, to play off her bio…I wish I could forget the name Kelly Conrad. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try and delete this book from my memory.